I am going to get up and say it. I have been a real rut lately. Energy levels insanely down and I just feel down right CRUMMY & antisocial! Do you ever get like this?
Being a mommy is seriously the hardest job on the whole planet. It is! I am fueling on minimum rest here. The kids have got me feeling CRAZY!
Jeez just sitting here writing, I have my baby pulling at my knee and trying to snatch the iPad out of my hand. My daughter is shouting in the background that she needs my help opening her Play Doh (oh lordy, I can only imagine the mess that will follow). No wonder I don’t have a minute to focus and write my friends back on Facebook. How can I wrap my head around writing a message with a lot of thought put into it, when I have one kid screaming and crying that they need my help (or both), or pulling at my writing device…it’s hopeless. So I am sorry to my friends that I have neglected. My life is a spiral of craziness and it will be for another two years. Excuse me while I recluse back to my cave with my baby cubs…
Uh oh! Here comes the hand grabbing away again… I don’t have long now before someone starts sobbing away! Let me wrap this up!
I literally get a mere three hours of rest of night, if that. Not to sound whiny and complainy! I am between a rock and stone with Nate. He is in my bed, I can’t get him in his own. Hear me out! Ruby is being transitioned back to her bed (that is when daddy is home). I can’t wake up in the night and tend to her because…Nate is in my bed. I am still nursing him, he has outgrown his bassinet. And he does not like being alone in his room/crib AND god forbid he screams which is a sure likelihood, he will wake his sister who is trying to get back in her big girl bed. You following? When will this madness end? The ENTIRE night I lay there, arms wrapped around him fearing that he will suffocate, fall off the bed, wake up, the list is endless! Then of course I am on call, waiting for the middle of the night cry from Ruby that she is up and needs us/another bottle of milk. I am a bag of stress girls! Someone come save me!
So here I go the whole day running on empty, and two wild children. We have all been there and done that, right? But then I see some friends on Facebook, with their children like perfect angels, they have the whole shebang under control. Seriously? I just don’t know right now…it’s 12pm, I am still in my pajamas, teeth/face/hair un-brushed. Counting down the minutes and hours until I can get the kids in the bath and off to bed. Is that so bad? I know I should be cherishing each day with my kids. but I am struggling with the two. I had my $-&; together with Ruby, and right now I feel like I am losing control. My patience is on the borderline, I am sure my neighbors often hear a crazy woman screaming from her cave “NO! Don’t do that! Leave your brother alone! Stop hurting him!”.
I need a break! No such luck! Mommy hood is 24/7. Is their a light at the end of the tunnel? Please tell me so…
I bent over backwards to make Christmas as memorable as possible for everyone at home. Ruby had gastro, Nate was cranky, and my husband was in his own world taking care of the kids while I slaved over the stove (only for Ruby and him to fall asleep as I took the turkey out of the oven). Dinner was finished in minutes with a a mere “thank you for cooking”. Sometimes I don’t know if all my efforts are even worth it?
Let me take an afternoon off!