Rant: Crummy Mommy Monday

This one is a bit late, I wanted to write it last night but after the day I had I just needed to step away from everything. I immersed myself into making 20 some odd handmade birthday cards for my daughters upcoming party. I got carried away with rhinestones and bling. Did not go to sleep until midnight, up at 6am. Fun times!

So let me recap my crummy day for those of you that feel like listening because I need a shoulder to cry on.

Have you ever had one of those ‘I don’t know if I can keep doing this’ moments? That was moi! I had a full blown meltdown, on the floor crying and shaking. I’m not looking for pity, believe me! I’m just telling/showing you a side of me that I have not exposed before. I am a REAL mom just like you, your mom etc. Some days it can get the best of ALL of us.

We are allowed to cry. Life is darn hard raising kids. It really is the toughest job I have ever done. And when I say that, trust me! I have done about every job you can think of. During highschool I tried to make money wherever I could (which all got blown away on makeup and nonsense). I guess you can say I have always been a go-getter. I didn’t need the extra cash as I could ask my parents whenever I needed something, but I wanted to be independent. It’s in my blood. At 13 I hounded down stores to let me work part-time on the weekends. Making pizza’s at Little Caesars, handing out flyer’s for a shady psychic. I moved on to developing pictures at a drug store, a cashier, a merchandiser. Then at a children’s indoor playground. The worst was a job at a factory, sitting for hours on end watching eye contact solution roll by checking if the labels were on correctly (I think I lasted a month at the max). Then the real world! After graduating from college in media arts, I followed my passion of film and did production work for a few years before getting the itch to travel. I was a flight attendant for a local airline carrier. A few years later I was holding my baby Ruby in my arms…and now Nate + husband + house + you get the picture.

 My meltdown was triggered most likely because the last few weeks have been mental to say the least. Event, after event for my blog, taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning. People often ask me about my blog and how I manage. In a nutshell, it’s like raising another child. I have to feed it with posts and pictures every day, make sure it gets seen on all social media sites. All while I have Nate grabbing at my leg asking to be picked up, which I do…and then he smashes away at my keyboard and my work I have done…or better yet starts biting me.

How about the icing on the cake yesterday? While I was on the floor crying, he grabbed my full glass of water and submerged my phone in it. Now I am without phone (hopefully I get a new one tonight). Which made me crack even more. My husband was home while this was all going down. He tells me ‘stop crying’. Thanks! What I needed was a real big hug. To tell me everything would be fine. That I am a great mother. Instead I felt like a failure

Oh and did I tell you…Nate has chickenpox?

My house is turned upside down. I can’t function in mess. My in-laws are arriving in a few days (excited, but worried about the house). Everything and everyone needs tending to. At least I am on top of laundry, but I do have a pile that needs to be folded and put away. Nate just dumped his cereal and milk all over the floor…yesterday he threw six potted plants out front while I was cleaning his car seat. Which reminds me I need to go grocery shopping.

 Needless to say, I absolutely can’t wait to escape next week to a blogger conference in Canada! Step back from the madness for a few days, recharge my batteries and come back (hopefully) rejuvenated.

What I am trying to get at with this post, is that you may look at photos of friends on Facebook, or blogger’s you follow, even celebrities and life looks picture perfect. How do they keep it together? We are all real, sometimes we crack. If you are feeling like how I was yesterday, I am sending you a big virtual hug! Everything will be fine Mamma. You are a GREAT person. You are doing the best job you can possibly do! You are a GOOD mother.

Ahhh I feel better getting that all off my chest already! Being a mother is hard, being an expat is also tough. I need my close family nearby me more than ever on days like these. You know what I am going to do? Pick up the phone (house phone) and call a cleaning service (whilst locking away all my valuables-don’t want another experience like the last). Then I will call my wonderful neighbor, see if she can watch Nate for 30 minutes while I take a hot shower and wash up. Make a cup of tea, take a deep breath and be thankful for all that I have.
Just to prove to you how ‘normal’ I am…I am showing you for the FIRST time some not so picture perfect candid photos of my home. It doesn’t always look like that, I am actually OCD with cleaning, but I have slipped up the last few weeks and this is the result of not being home very often, late nights, sick baby, etc.
Sink full of dishes/spilt milk & cereal on the floor/ laundry room/ messy kitchen/ clothes that have been hanging outside since yesterday + car that needs to be washed/ untidy playroom

2 Comments on Rant: Crummy Mommy Monday

  1. Dubai our Sandbox
    September 23, 2014 at 5:41 am (6 years ago)

    Hope you are feeling better today!
    Thanks for the “virtual hug”,and it's always nice to get some comforting words from another mom.
    When in Dubai, if you want to catch up or need help with something, give me a shout! 😉

    “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one”

    Wishing you a good day (best as it can be)

  2. AbbeyMichelle
    September 23, 2014 at 5:56 am (6 years ago)

    Hey Corrine,

    You might not remember me but we exchanged a few emails about Abu Dhabi Festival towards the end of last year. Well, since then I have become a Momma! My little boy, Zachy, will be 7 weeks old this Wednesday!

    He is a gorgeous little thing and I absolutely adore being a Mummy 🙂 Had a day very similar day to yours yesterday though where I just thought 'oh my god' after hours of Zachy fussing and crying and demanding food but then rejecting it (think its 6 week growth spurt maybe). I had to call in reinforcement and get my husband to come home early so I could take 30 minutes alone to breathe and relax. I felt bad about it so its really cheered my morning reading your post knowing that everyone has these moment too!

    Thanks for the virtual hug 🙂

    Abbey Michelle Urbanski x

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