So let me recap my crummy day for those of you that feel like listening because I need a shoulder to cry on.
Have you ever had one of those ‘I don’t know if I can keep doing this’ moments? That was moi! I had a full blown meltdown, on the floor crying and shaking. I’m not looking for pity, believe me! I’m just telling/showing you a side of me that I have not exposed before. I am a REAL mom just like you, your mom etc. Some days it can get the best of ALL of us.
We are allowed to cry. Life is darn hard raising kids. It really is the toughest job I have ever done. And when I say that, trust me! I have done about every job you can think of. During highschool I tried to make money wherever I could (which all got blown away on makeup and nonsense). I guess you can say I have always been a go-getter. I didn’t need the extra cash as I could ask my parents whenever I needed something, but I wanted to be independent. It’s in my blood. At 13 I hounded down stores to let me work part-time on the weekends. Making pizza’s at Little Caesars, handing out flyer’s for a shady psychic. I moved on to developing pictures at a drug store, a cashier, a merchandiser. Then at a children’s indoor playground. The worst was a job at a factory, sitting for hours on end watching eye contact solution roll by checking if the labels were on correctly (I think I lasted a month at the max). Then the real world! After graduating from college in media arts, I followed my passion of film and did production work for a few years before getting the itch to travel. I was a flight attendant for a local airline carrier. A few years later I was holding my baby Ruby in my arms…and now Nate + husband + house + you get the picture.
How about the icing on the cake yesterday? While I was on the floor crying, he grabbed my full glass of water and submerged my phone in it. Now I am without phone (hopefully I get a new one tonight). Which made me crack even more. My husband was home while this was all going down. He tells me ‘stop crying’. Thanks! What I needed was a real big hug. To tell me everything would be fine. That I am a great mother. Instead I felt like a failure
Oh and did I tell you…Nate has chickenpox?
My house is turned upside down. I can’t function in mess. My in-laws are arriving in a few days (excited, but worried about the house). Everything and everyone needs tending to. At least I am on top of laundry, but I do have a pile that needs to be folded and put away. Nate just dumped his cereal and milk all over the floor…yesterday he threw six potted plants out front while I was cleaning his car seat. Which reminds me I need to go grocery shopping.
Needless to say, I absolutely can’t wait to escape next week to a blogger conference in Canada! Step back from the madness for a few days, recharge my batteries and come back (hopefully) rejuvenated.
What I am trying to get at with this post, is that you may look at photos of friends on Facebook, or blogger’s you follow, even celebrities and life looks picture perfect. How do they keep it together? We are all real, sometimes we crack. If you are feeling like how I was yesterday, I am sending you a big virtual hug! Everything will be fine Mamma. You are a GREAT person. You are doing the best job you can possibly do! You are a GOOD mother.